Maybe it's the time of the year, but lately, my mind has been consumed with my fears. Mix halloween and fright along with the impending changes in your life once Baby Lex (not the child's real name, just a nickname for now) arrives, and you got one big Scaredy Cat Nelly.
I'm terrified of growing old and death. I'm scared of losing my parents, scared of losing my sisters, scared of losing my husband, scared of losing my family. I'm scared shitless of raising a child who might have health issues and die young. I am afraid of not raising my child with the confidence and abilities they need to stand up for themselves when it comes to things like bullying and the like. I'm terrified of what our future world is going to be like, and if bringing a child into it is worth it. These are the thoughts that run though my head too often, and make me cry in the shower.
Basically, I'm afraid of the future and everything in it. I like things how they are now.
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